Something funny happened to me today: I was in the grocery store, and the Prince song "When Doves Cry" came on over the music system. Now, of course, this was a song I remembered from my youth, so I started kind of singing along to it, but quietly, so nobody could hear. Just as it got to the big chorus part, "Maybe you're just like my mother, she's never satisfied," I hear this big male voice from over in the next aisle singing that part really loudly. He actually had a good voice. Anyway, I thought that was really funny. Maybe you had to be there...
Don't forget, you will always be a year older than me. 
Those early morning hours are killer when it comes to thinking. I think sometimes in our lives are just harder than others. Would it be possible to sit down with your supervisor at work and explain that you have been having a lot of health problems lately, and seeing if they can do anything to shift around the workload? Or would that just result in an immediate firing? Even though you are afraid you won't find another job, it doesn't hurt to look. The best time to look for a job is while you have one. As far as friends, well, I sympathize. I have a friend I've had for over 20 years that I am losing because she is allowing her new husband to close her off from any "outside" forces. I'm really hurt she's letting him do it, I thought she would stand up for our friendship. Another friend is angry at me, and I can't completely blame him. My birthday was a hard one this year too. Not because I really care about getting older, but I did go into a bit of a panic mode, figuring I'd better get my life straightened out before I'm too old to do it. Late nights and birthdays, a bad combination!